Monday, May 28, 2007

Raising our children Islamically

اعوذ باللہ من الشیطٰن الرجیم
بسم اللہ الرحمٰن الرحیم

الحمد للہ رب العلمین ، والصلوۃ والسلام علی رسولہ الکریم

In the name of Allah, the most beneficient, the most merciful, master of the day of Judgement. Salutations be upon Prophet Mohammad SAW, his companions and the righteous who followed them.

Assalam o allaikum Wr. Wb my dear respected brothers, sisters and elders in Islam:

In the past few khutbas, we have learnt of some of the important aspects of Islam, such as maintaining a clean heart, to keep ourselves focused in the dhikr of Allah SWT, attachment with Quran, to keep our Iman between Hope and Fear, to struggle to achieve the Qurb of Allah SWT, Regret and Repentance, Selflessness towards our fellow brothers and respecting our parents.

All these aspects, if understood and acted upon completely will give us a condition to bring about an environment in our home that is conducive for our children to understand the deen of Allah SWT. We cannot thank enough to our creator for blessing us with these children that are the coolness of our eyes. One way we can show the gratitude to Allah SWT is by teaching these children what is expected of them as muslims; good manners, ettiquettes, good actions, and most importantly the understanding that they are the servants of Allah SWT.

The first action that one must carry out when he has made the intention to educate their children regarding the deen of Allah is asking dua from Allah SWT for his Mercy in order to fulfil this obligation.

Ibraheem AS asked Allah SWT in the Quran:

رَّبَّنَا إِنِّي أَسْكَنتُ مِن ذُرِّيَّتِي بِوَادٍ غَيْرِ ذِي زَرْعٍ عِندَ بَيْتِكَ الْمُحَرَّمِ رَبَّنَا لِيُقِيمُواْ الصَّلاَةَ فَاجْعَلْ أَفْئِدَةً مِّنَ النَّاسِ تَهْوِي إِلَيْهِمْ وَارْزُقْهُم مِّنَ الثَّمَرَاتِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَشْكُرُونَ
"O our Lord! I have made some of my offspring to dwell in an uncultivable valley by Your Sacred House (the Ka'bah at Makkah); in order, O our Lord, that they may perform As-Salât (Iqâmat-as-Salât), so fill some hearts among men with love towards them, and (O Allâh) provide them with fruits so that they may give thanks.[] [14:37]



With the dua’, one must become a role model for the children. We must show them how a muslim lives his life and how he show the submission to the will of Allah SWT. We must follow the commandments of Allah SWT so that they can see the importance of such commandments. If we ourselves do not follow the teachings of the deen, and we expect them to follow all the rulings, it will not work out. A child looks upto his father or mother for advice and looks upto them to understand the way of life.

Parents can only be a role model for the children if they maintain an environment in their homes where Allah and His deen are prevailent. If the the environment in the home is a non-serious relaxed environment and the parents involve themselves in worldly activities, then that is how the child will understand the priorities of this life. The child will then make religion a part time deen without delving into deeper understanding of the actions performed.

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Now when we look in our society around ourselves, we see that there are a lot of attractions and distractions for the children. The learn and apply numerous things that are happening around them. If we tell them do not do this or do not follow this, it is not enough because we know the human psychology is that when we ask someone to not do something, he is willing to do it even more to quench the thirst of the curiosity. Rather our effort should be to interact with them at every level so if they need to adopt something, they look upto us and they ask us as to what is the right course of actions.

When we are able to realize this goal in our mind, we will do the needful to bring our children into a practical fold of Islam and they will grow up to be individuals who will compete with eachother to achieve goodness.

Rasulallah SAW says in one of the hadeeth that :

“Seven (types of people) will be shaded by His shade on the day when there will be no shade except His shade”…[One of the seven mentioned was the] “youth who
grew up in the obedience of Allah SWT.”

If we, as a community, wishes to improve its upcoming generation and improve the level of goodness for them - then it is vital that we focus on raising and educating our children on goodness (tarbiyah). We need to equip them with the tools they need to succeed, namely belief (Iman) and awareness of God (Taqwa). To strengthen them with knowledge that will be of benefit to them. To instruct them towards good and convey to them the importance of dealing with their task seriously.

The stage of childhood is a very a perilous phase (in a person’s life) and the most
important. The Early Generation of Muslims were incredibly concerned with their
children from a very tender age. They would teach them and raise them up to be
righteous and good. They would carefully select teachers for their children and they
would strive to keep their children away from bad things.
We see many examples in the life of Rasulallah SAW that tells us how we should behave with our children, so that we can earn their full trust and through that trust we teach them the deen of Allah SWT.

We must be kind and compassionate to our children and should not be bothered or angered by their repeated requests. Our children are truly a test from Allah SWT of our patience and perseverance. If we carry out our duty in the steps of Rasulallah SWT, then we will see the fruits of our investment

Once a man named Iqra’ bin Habis came to the Prophet (pbuh) and saw him kiss his grandson Hasan Ibn Ali. Iqra’ bin Habis said, “Do you kiss your children?” The
Messenger replied “Yes”. Iqra’ then said, “ I have ten sons and I have never kissed
any of them!” The Prophet (pbuh) replied: “The one who is not compassionate is not shown compassion (by others)”


With the compassion and kindness towards the young, Rasulallah SAW also showed us how to safeguard the education of our children. He never missed any opportunity to guide the children to follow a right action.

‘Amr ibn Abi Salama related:
“I was a boy in the care of the Messenger of God. My hand used to go all around in the plate [where the custom would be for a group eat from one large plate]. The Messenger of God (pbuh) said to me: “O young man, begin with the name of God, eat with your right hand and eat from what is in front of you.“ [Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet (pbuh) taught Abdullah Ibn Abbas about belief (Iman) and consciousness of God (Taqwa) when he (pbuh) said to him:

“Young boy, I will teach you some words: Be mindful of God and He will be mindful of you. Be mindful of God and you will find him in front of you. If you ask, ask from God. If you seek help, seek help from God. Know that if all of humanity gathered together to benefit you with something, they would not benefit you except with something that God had already written for you. If they gathered to harm you with something, they would not harm you except with something that God had already written against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried”. (Tirmidhi)

Training and teaching your child to believe firmly in the Oneness of God and firmly establishing this in their hearts will make them balanced on a psychological, intellectual and moral level. With this belief, they will become successful and righteous due to their trust and confidence in their in their Lord and Creator. With that trust and confidence, they will submit to what He has willed for them.

The level of care and consideration does not stop when these children grow up and have families of their own, rather such care and education continues.

Ali ibn Abi Talib relates an incident after he was married with Fatima RA and they had been living together for some time.

“Fatima was the daughter of the Prophet (pbuh) and she was my wife. She was the most beloved of his family to him. Once, she (may God be pleased with her) ground (grain) using a hand mill until blisters appeared on her hands. She carried water using a water skin until it scarred her neck. She swept the floor until her clothes became dusty. She lit the fire under the cooking pot until her clothes became mud coloured from the smoke and the colour of her face changed due to the heat of the oven. Fatima was inflicted by great pain because of this.

We had heard that servants had been given to the Messenger so I said to her: 'Why don't you ask your father for a servant to relieve you from these jobs?' When Fatima went to the Prophet, she found that he had company; and was too shy to talk to him, so she left the house.

Ali continues: "The next night, the Prophet came to the house while we were still under our quilt and we tried to stand up but he (pbuh) asked us to stay in our place. He (pbuh) [sat close to us to the extent that] his feet were between Fatima and myself and he (pbuh) sat near her head and said: 'Fatima, what was your need when you came to Muhammad yesterday?'

Ali added: I was afraid that she (Fatima) would not tell him, so I said: "I will inform you, Messenger of God! She carried water using a water skin until her neck was scarred, she ground (grain) using a hand mill until blisters appeared on her hands, she swept the floor until her clothes became dusty and she lit the fire under the cooling pot until her clothes were mud coloured from the smoke. So I said to her:

'Why don't ask your father for a servant to relieve you form these jobs?'”.

The Prophet (pbuh) upon hearing this, said, “Shall I teach you something that is better for you than a servant? When retiring to bed say, Subhan-Allah (Glory be to God) thirty three (33) times, Alhmadul-illah (All praise and thanks is to God) thirty three (33) times and Allahu-Akbar (God is great) thirty four (34) times. That is better for you than a maid.' (Bukhari, Muslim and Abu Dawood)

May Allah give us the taufeeq to raise our children according the teachings of Quran and Sunnah and may Allah protect them from all evils and ills of this life.

Wa akhiruhu Dawaana Anil Hamdulillahi Rabbilaalimeen.


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