بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
الحمد للہ رب العلمین ، والصلوۃ والسلام علی رسولہ کریم
In the name of Allah the most beneficient, the most Merciful, Master of the day of judgement, the creator and sustainer of this world and everything therein. Salutations be upon Prophet Mohammad SAW, the last messenger and guide to the mankind and upon those who followed his teachings in words and deeds.
Assalam o allaikum Wr. Wb.
After a days hard work when we enter into our homes and our children upon the first glance leap towards us greeting, one cannot but feel all the tiredness gone in an instant. It is the innocent love and respect that these children give to us for which we have response but kindness.
Similarly, when the old parents see the smiling face of their children enter the homes, they feel nothing but happiness and joy. It is as if the day’s restlessness has been eased away in an instant at the sight of the children. The parents, when they reach in old age, they yearn to have our attention, they like to share their worries and they have a lot to say, but often times we neglect them and we get ourselves busy in other activities. We do not think for a moment, that they were the same parents who had given away their peace of mind so we can have a comfortable life.
Allah SWT says in the Quran:
(17:23)
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.
My dear bothers and sisters,
Allah SWT uses the word UFF, that one should not even utter the word UFF when addressing the parents. Scholars have mentioned that if there had been a smaller word for disrespect than UFF, Allah SWT would have used it meaning that one should not be disrespectful even in the slightest.
It is reported that a young man once complained to the Prophet that his father was taking his money. The Prophet summoned the father. An old man, leaning heavily on his walking-stick, made his appearance. When asked if, what the son complained about was true, the old man stared long at the Prophet and softly replied, "O Apostle of Allah, my son used to be weak and I strong; he used to be poor and I rich, and what I had in my possession I spent for his wellbeing. Today I am poor and weak and my son cannot afford to spend even a small amount on me!" The Prophet was overwhelmed by this and a tear rolled from his eye as he spoke: "There is no stone or any hard object but cries when he hears such sentiments expressed. You (young man) and all your property belong to your parents."
The sacrifices that our parents have gone through, we can never even imagine. We cannot even count as to what effort of theirs actually made us, what we are today. What about those special prayers that they made for us and the extremeties that they had to go through to get us the best food.
The society in which we live is not fair to the parents either. Concepts such as old homes and senior citizen residences were alien to us but now some of us have dwelved in these practices too.
We are come from various backgrounds but we have something in common and that is the teachings of Islam in their core. Islam teaches us to respect our parents and to be dutiful to them. We cannot choose to just live our own life and forget about our parents. This is not what our Nabi SAW taught us.
Allah SWT says in Quran:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
(31:14)
And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.
A son came to complain about his mother's strong temper. Did she have a strong temper when she bore you ?" the Prophet asked. Did she have a strong temper when she spent numerous night sleepless, suckling and guarding you when you were ill, going out of her way to feed you ?"The young man replied that he had already rewarded for all her actions by carrying her on his back while they were on Pilgrimage to Makkah. The Prophet looked at the son and replied: "My son, (you have done a noble deed) but you can never repay one single drop of milk which she gave you."
The pain and suffering that a mother faces during the upbringing of her child cannot be explained in words but one sees that the more she engages herself in these sacrifices, the more she cares about the child. This is the rahmah that Allah SWT has put in her heart for her child. Allah SWT loves this sacrifice of the mother and when a child disobeys that mother, it is most disliked by Allah SWT.
On the authority of Imam Abu Hurairah , a man asked Rasulallah SAW:
"O Apostle of Allah, who has the most right to my companionship? To this our Nabi replied: "Your Mother. "Thrice the man asked the same question and thrice our Nabi replied,"Your Mother", until the fourth time when our Nabi replied, "Your Father".
When the parents become old, it becomes even more important for us to take care of them and give them their due rights. Just because they are not the bread winners of the family, does not mean their importance in our home is diminished. They still deserve the same respect.
Abu Hurairah (R.A.) relates that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said "May he be disgraced, may,he be disgraced, may he be disgraced." "Who?" The Sahaaba enquired. "The person whose parents, or any one of them, attain old-age during his life-time and he does not earn Paradise (by being kind-hearted and dutiful to them)!"
My dear brothers and sisters,
It is important to understand that our religion makes it obligatory upon us to be dutiful to our parents even if they are not muslim. One must respect and obey his parents regardless of their belief as long as one is not obliged to follow something that is out of the bounds of Sharia.
Asma bint Abu Bakr (R.A.) relates that her mother had come to Madinah, from Makkah, to meet her. Her mother followed the Pagan customs and beliefs, so Asma (R.A.) enquired from the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam as how she was to treat her whether she should have nothing to do with her, as she was a Pagan, or treat her like a daughter should, and show kindness to her. The Prophet told her to be kind and considerate and to behave towards her as was a mothers due, from a daughter.
Allah SWT says:
وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
(17:24)
... "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small."
The rights of the parents do not come to an end if the parents have passed away. Infact, our religion teaches us to ask for their forgiveness even after they have passed away and to remember them in good words.
Abu Usaid Sa'idi (R.A.) relates that a person came to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and asked him "O Prophet of Allah, are there some rights of my parents, on me, which I have to fulfill even after they have died?" "Yes" the Prophet replied, "These are to pray for mercy and forgiveness on their behalf, to fulfill the promises they have made to anyone, to pay due regard to the bonds of relationship from their side and to be respectful to their friends.
Rasulallah SAW has mentioned that there are some rewards that a person gets if he is dutiful towards his parents. The real reward is getting the paradise and the pleasure of Allah SWT in the akhirah for this deed but Allah SWT has promised something for this world too.
Jabir (R.A.) reports that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said "Allah prolongs the life of a person who obeys his parents and serves them devotedly." In another hadeeth, the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam is reported to have said, "Obey your parents and treat them with kindness, your children will be kind and obedient to you.
Similarly, disobeying parents is one of the acts most displeasing to Allah SWT.
When asked about the major sins, the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam replied." To associate anyone with Allah, to disobey the parents, to kill unlawfully and to give false evidence."
May Allah SWT give us the taufeeq to be dutiful towards our parents and forgive us if we have hurt them in any manner intentionally or unintentionally.
Wa akhiruhu Dawana Anilhamdulillah Rabil Aalimeen.
Delivered at Fredericton Islamic Association Masjid on May 11, 2007
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